How to write like a boss.

It seems like every time I actually have a moment free for a spot of actual writing, blogging or general creative shenanigans, I lose all inspiration. All free time which should be dedicated to doing something creative is then spent messing around on the internet, playing around on photoshop or just browsing through my old writing and pining for the days when I could actually string a sentence together.

Considering Boyfriend wants me to blog today, and I want to actually start writing again, I figure there’s no harm in killing two metaphorical birds with a stone that may or may not also be metaphorical and combining Ke needs to start writing again with Hey look, it’s a blog post.

So, to follow is my list of things that are important to know or do if you eventually want to be a writer who actually writes:

1. Know the rules for writing fiction.

but also remember, Edward Weston once said:

Consulting the rules of composition before taking a photograph, is like consulting the laws of gravity before going for a walk.

and the same applies to writing. Don’t get so bogged down by the rules and how to write that you forget about what you’re actually trying to write.

2. Know your grammar, and a little something about writing style.

finding grammar and style tips online is as easy as a Google search. One that I found just today is the Writer’s Handbook  which has all sorts of useful little facts about how to use semicolons and dashes – two of my favourite punctuation marks. Really, eventually you want to be able to write a sentence like this:

This sentence has five words. Here are five more words. Five-word sentences are fine. But several together become monotonous. Listen to what is happening. The writing is getting boring. The sound of it drones. It’s like a stuck record. The ear demands some variety. Now listen. I vary the sentence length, and I create music. Music. The writing sings. It has a pleasant rhythm, a lilt, a harmony. I use short sentences. And I use sentences of medium length. And sometimes, when I am certain the reader is rested, I will engage him with a sentence of considerable length, a sentence that burns with energy and builds with all the impetus of a crescendo, the roll of the drums, the crash of the cymbals–sounds that say listen to this, it is important

Even The Oatmeal knows how important semicolons are: How to use a semicolon

Learning about narrative point of view and sentence structure is pretty important too.

3. Practice ALL THE TIME

the two things I’m using for practice are the 100 themes and writer’s exercises. That way I get to practice both my structural style and my content – nothing wrong with that.

 Okay, so it’s a really short list, but I don’t even care – it seems like all the most important things are covered. The main thing is that I’ve got to actually get around to writing every day.

I’ll probably get around to updating and adding to this list at some point – when I actually have any time and/or interest in doing so.