What’s your sexuality?
The one where I don’t give a fuck, have sex with whatever I find attractive, leave nothing concrete, and don’t parade it around like it’s a badge of honour because who I am attracted to is neither an achievement nor is it an extension of my personality. My mating call is “well, you look symmetrical”
It’s pretty legit.
This is probably the best explanation for spectrasexuality and sapiosexuality that I’ve ever seen; it also happens to be exactly the way I feel.
SPECTRASEXUAL: The attraction towards a wide range of genders and bodily formats on the spectrum that is gender. An attraction based not entirely on personality but appearance.
SAPIOSEXUAL: A form of sexual orientation characterized by a strong attraction to intelligence in others, often regardless of gender and/or conventional attractiveness.
I really just don’t understand the people who use their sexuality as a way to define themselves, because not being ashamed of who you’re attracted to is one thing, but waving it around like a trophy is completely another. It’s like people being proud of the fact that they metabolise oxygen.
OMNES RELINQUITE SPES, O VOS INTRATES 
The important thing is that you’ve found a way to feel superior to everyone who’s different from you.
Which is one of the issues that a lot of gay people claim to have with their heterosexual counterparts – this claiming some sort of superiority. Also, it’s the reason that labels should just disappear from use.
And many gay people are proud of their sexuality, and have gay pride parades. People tend to be happy when they fit in a group of like minded people. It’s fairly harmless, and it makes people happy. Can’t we just accept people’s use of labels and live and let live?
No, we can’t just accept labels. Also, I think you misunderstand the motives behind my post – I don’t have a problem with alternative sexuality, or embracing it. I have a problem with people waving it around like it’s a defining thing; “I’m gay – therefore nothing else about me matters. I’m gonna be the gayest gay who ever gayed”
Too many people rely on their labels to define them and I don’t think it’s a particularly good thing – and I don’t think it’s harmless. Why would you ever have to grow as a person if you allow your sexuality to define you?
Also, just to be clear: I’m not saying that everyone does it – I’m talking specifically about the people that do.
Why can’t the gayest gay man who’s ever gayed up a gay joint develop himself? He can exercise, he can intellectually develop himself, he can seek to understand masculine and feminine sexualities. Having a label doesn’t stop him from finding new places on the map. The world of the mind is a vast place, and people can still find new places on the map if they’re straight, gay, pansexual, whatever.
Someone having a label just means they’re going to develop their sexuality in a certain direction.
I think you are completely missing the point of the post. There is nothing wrong with defining your sexuality and being proud of it, but at the same time, sexuality is not an identity. It’s a part of a sum that makes up a whole person.
There are people who upon realising their sexuality decide to be just as narrow minded in their sexuality as those who look down on it. They totally immerse themselves in one identity and discard any and all viewpoints that do not correlate with their lifestyle.
The point the post is trying to make is that there are many avenues of sexuality that don’t need to be labelled and that don’t define and individual. Sexuality is simply a matter of attraction to another person, regardless of gender, and it is insensitive to assume that there must be a label for each type of attraction.
Either you’re being deliberately obtuse, or you’re just dense; it’s like you’re ignoring my point for the sake of debate. What part of “people who rely on labels to define them” aren’t you getting? In other words – I’m not talking about EVERYONE. I’m talking about people who rely solely on their labels.
And you seem to be missing my point. People who wholly define themselves by their labels, there’s nothing wrong with them, they can still self develop (indeed, if you want to be happy in the gay community you need to keep on exploring sexuality) and they can still be creative.
You clearly dislike the idea of being forced to adopt a label. It’s just as annoying though to hear you say that friends of mine are a problem for being proud of a word. I know you are not talking about everyone. I understand your point. People shouldn’t wave around their self defined labels as labels are constricting and prevent you from growing as a person. I understand your viewpoint, I just disagree because it’s wrong. You’re not better than a person who self defines themself with a word and is proud of themselves. Both approaches have their advantages and disadvantages.
Jesus take the wheel.
No. It’s not wrong. It’s a concept you disagree with. Much like I disagree with your point of view.
I never said I was. Have I mentioned that I’m a self-proclaimed spectrasexual/sapiosexual?
I’m talking about people who see no need to continue to develop themselves, because they already have their label. Hence my statement that you’re MISSING THE POINT COMPLETELY.
More than 90% of my friends are out and proud.
I’m not going to continue this conversation, because you’re missing the point and seem dead set on taking offence – which I have no time for. If you want to disagree with my point, go right ahead.
You’ve found people with labels are generally less ambitious or less self developing than those without labels, because they already have their label? Not sure how that mixes with your original point, but ok.
I have met people who have stopped self development because they feel no need to develop themselves with no labels- if there are no expectations, why seek self improvement? What would you think of a person like that?